Category: Uncategorized

• Someday .

  

  And maybe one day I will wake up 

  and maybe I won’t want to die, 

  tears will stop rolling down my face 

  and I will get up to go see outside

   ***

  If the whole world really did end

  could you find me in other life times 

  You really ought to smell the flowers

  and open your eyes to night sky 

  Beause I will find you in the starlight 

  and we will go dancing on moon beams 

  ***

  You won’t have to travel to Boston

  and forget that your home isn’t Austin 

  You’ll finally see just how I smile 

  and we can then laugh for a while 

  And lovers will mend your heart broken

  Then we will all live and go floating 

  I have etched in my soul your bright smile

  And use your eyes as a reference you know

  To remind me Your green is the gold 

  ***

  And when I drip into the water –

  and it turns into pink from maroon 

  I hope it’s the shade of your cheeks 

  the first time that you knew you loved me 

  ***

  And when I’m no longer your sunshine 

  You go surf the waves for day 

  Find me in the light on the water 

  When even your blue skies turn grey 

  ***

  Now I am broken no longer as your freckles they rest in my hand 

  And it was never just hot sauce 

  but a lesson in love learned too late 

  ***

  So anyway, I guess I’ll live.

  Unkindly yours,

  A. J. Mercer

  May 19, 2026

  hopeful romantic

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• So Anyway, I guess I’ll live

  Well, anyway.

  Something shifts in your brain when you decide you’re going live. 

  Not because you weren’t allowed to before, but now, now that you’ve given yourself the permission you didn’t think you needed, something is different. 

  You’re still sad, depressed, lonely, angry- whatever feeling you’d like to assign to yourself. But now the only option is to live. 

  It’s not that I want to live or that I don’t want to die but that death in the way I’d imagined for so many years was going to be different. 

  Something switched in my mind and I don’t know when, how or why, but one day I went to say how miserable I was and that I was ready end it, and what came out was “guess I’ll live” 

  And now instead of putting a concerted effort into not dying, it’ll go towards trying to live. 

  And I’m so angry about it. I’m angry because what am I going to do now? I always had an escape route and now I don’t. Now I HAVE to go THROUGH it? Buddy I’ve been “going through it” my whole life. How is this any different?! 

  I don’t know. But I do know that it’s the only option I’ve got now. 

  So anyway, guess I’ll live

  Unkindly Yours,

  A. J. Mercer

  

  May 18, 2026

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